I came across a quote that reads, “I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be; but still, by the grace of God, I am not what I used to be.” It was the following day in prayer that this line struck me. I was grappling with my struggle to follow through with a personal prayer commitment, and I was getting frustrated with myself for not doing what I set out to do. On the one hand, I think this is a good thing—I’m grateful that I am bothered by my lack of follow through and I hope that complacency never takes hold of me. At the same time, a constant sense of defeat and discouragement can be stifling.

I came across this quote at the right time. I know I have a lot of ways in which I need to grow; answering Jesus’ call to be perfect as our heavenly Father won’t happen overnight. He has a game plan for my holiness that takes time, according to his will. So, even though I am not (yet) what I ought to be, I trust that if I keep showing up, little by little, the Holy Spirit will purify me and transform me into the saint that I’m called to be. In this journey, it’s helpful to remember what the Lord has done in my life and to be grateful for where He has brought me.

My hope for my spiritual life is that I continue to grow in intimacy with the Lord. I hope that growth continues until the day I die. Therefore, I don’t want to become discouraged by my lack of perfection, the perfection to which I’m called, but to keep showing up to prayer to receive more grace to live in union with Him.